Victory at Last - Toilet Swabs in Hand

I know that my quest for the fuzzy toilet swabs is not of national consequence; however, there is so much bad news on the national and international scene that I am uplifted by my small victory over the retailers who do not seem to know the needs of their customers.

I refer, of course, to a prior blog on my quest to find toilet swabs, not brushes, with which to clean our toilet bowls. It is one domestic task, with the proper tools, that I don't mind doing. With a painstaking search I was finally able to find a purveyor of my coveted swabs. Once found, my lovely wife barked, "Get five of those things! You never know when you'll be able to find them again."

So I quickly put five swabs in the cart, entered my credit card info, clicked SUBMIT ORDER, and awaited their arrival. I planned to leave two swabs in our Mesa home and then bring two more back to our Wisconsin home. You can never have too many.

Alas, I was thwarted once again with an e-mail a few days later from said purveyor stating that they were OUT OF STOCK of the swab things and they would have to be back-ordered. No wonder I can't find any anywhere - Wal-Mart, Target, Costco, Walgreen's, Gucci; someone was ordering so many they had to be back-ordered.

Two more painful weeks passed where I had to resort to those store-bought disposable swab things with the blue crap that bleeds all over the place. I managed to clean the bowls, but get one inch above the rim and the blue venom leaks over the edge, onto the outer bowl and even onto the white bath rug. It looked like a fountain pen fight (anyone remember those? Peacock ink?)

Finally I was rewarded with the UPS guy handing me the big brown box of swabs. He could not figure, I am sure, why I was so excited to get this box. He saw my glee and had to ask, "Whatcha got in there? Cookies?"

"No," I replied still smiling. "Toilet swabs!" UPS guy looked puzzled and started to back away. I yelled out, "Toilet SWABS, not brushes. The kind with the floppy mop head".

UPS guy exited to his big brown truck and roared off. I didn't care. Lysol bowl cleaner here I come. It was my own Super Bowl day.

Quixotic Quest For a Toilet Swab

We have traversed the country moving to our new winter home in Mesa, Arizona over the past weeks. So busy were we that my blog has suffered but that will soon change. It may seem odd to reappear on the blog with this topic, in our world of so many crises, but I had to proclaim my quest and maybe see if others would join me.

When we left our home in Wisconsin, we brought only items of which we had duplicates so we didn't have to schlep (neat Yiddish word, isn't it?) stuff back and forth. The exception this year was our new Dyson Animal vacuum cleaner. At almost $500 I thought it foolish to only use it six months a year so into the U-Haul it went.

But on to my quest. One of the items we did not bring with us to the new home was our toilet swab figuring, logically I thought, that we could pick one up at Wal-Mart, Target, Costco, or Big Lots. No, my friends (a little John McCain lingo here), that item was not to be found. Now before your raise your eyebrows thinking that there are plenty of bowl brushes abounding in all stores, I must stop you there.

I do not want that stiff brush type toilet bowl instrument. I want a toilet swab; one that has a mop-like small head with a plastic handle. I could never understand why anyone had to clean a toilet bowl with a stiff brush. I mean, what do you have on your bowl that requires such abrasion? OK, if you go a little too long between cleanings a, ahem, "scum" may form but if you have hardened material that needs chipping off or a stiff brush to combat, then you have other problems.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but a toilet swab cleans the bowl of any scum, any hard water lines, or any errant drippings or droppings quite well. But I can't find one, not anywhere, not at any cost.

I am at a loss. I have two at home that I clearly remember buying. I did not make them up. But in the most American of stores, I cannot find even one.

I will continue my quest in every town and village that has a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I will scour each Wal-Mart and aim at every Target until I reach my impossible dream.