Beyond the Expiration Date....Don't Take a Chance!

I pay close attention to food expiration dates, especially for meat and milk, recalling even 50 years later that I once took a swig from the milk carton only to have sour and solid material flow into my mouth. For drugs I pay less attention, but still occasionally check to see if the Aleve has gone too far past.

The other day I had another experience burned into my mind when I pulled a new tube of toothpaste from below the bathroom sink. It was some special “whiteness” brand in a stand-up tube that I like because it looks (and works) better than a crinkly tube that I squeeze from the middle.

I proceeded to open the cap, squeeze out a smidgen to see what I was getting, and a clear gel emerged onto my toothbrush. Looks good, I thought, and started my brushing routine. Barely started, I mean. I could not get the nasty stuff out of my mouth fast enough, slurping copious glasses of water to rinse and expectorate.

The taste was something between used motor oil and saccharine sweetener. Once I recovered and felt my mouth would survive the ordeal, I picked up the white tube and searched for an expiration date. I found it; stamped on the crimped edge of the tube was Sept3X1982. Yup, thirty year old toothpaste.

I stifled my gag reflex and to get rid of the lingering taste, I swiped my wife’s personal toothpaste tube (I don’t know why we just don’t share) and brushed vigorously enough to make my dentist smile. Finally, the minty freshness took over the oily sweetness.

I marveled at how we could have 30 year old toothpaste, especially since we had moved about four times over that time. My wife came home and when I told her the story, and asked how this could have happened, she replied, “I think we got that at the swap meet in Arizona last year.”

Now I love the swap meet in Mesa – it’s not really a swap meet, but more of a discounted overstock meet. Most items are new and we never leave spending less than $100. But why we would buy toothpaste, or anything else that might be ingested for that matter, is a puzzlement.

Never again. Thirty year old toothpaste is bad enough, but those cookies I was eyeing at the swap meet last time didn’t even have an expiration date. I wonder that those ladies are trying to hide?