Project Runway - Arizona Style

No one can accuse my wife of not being bold and adventurous. She has swam with the dolphins and the sting rays; she has volunteered to "disappear" on stage with David Copperfield; and she has even mustered the courage to ride the "Tower of Terror" ride at Disney World. But to walk the runway in a fashion show? Wearing a dress?

Diana does not wear dresses for reasons you might intuit if you know her. She is a skirt and blouse type, or maybe jeans and denim shirt type. But a dress, with a waist, uh....no way.

But when she was asked to model some clothes in a fashion show in our resort in Arizona, she didn't hesitate to say, "Yes!" Of course, she didn't know one of those dresses would be involved.

Each model was asked to walk the runway with two outfits. Diana chose a top with jeans, along with a nice big handbag for her first. The other ladies who were present for the rehearsal then suggested a dress for her. Despite her protestations, they convinced her to at least try on the dress. It was a light fabric with a uneven hem, and a light matching jacket. She was overwhelmed by the positive comments so she said, "What the heck!"

The male folk were not allowed to attend so I asked her to take the camera along for her walk down the runway (actually, a stroll through the tables at the community building).

When she returned home, I asked her how it all went.

"I twirled!" she responded with a dreamy air I hadn't seen in some time.

"That's nice", I said. "Did you like the dress?"

"I twirled", she said again, "I twirled at each end of the aisle". I was so happy for her. Not only did she risk it all and wear a dress, she managed to twirl at the ends of the aisle...twice.

"How did the other ladies look?" I asked to be polite.

"Fine," she said softly. "But I twirled."

Sometimes it is amazing what can make your day.

What Were They Thinking?

Cut-rate Irish airline Ryanair's CEO announced this week that the no-frills airline might start to charge for using the on board loo, the water closet, the toidy. The CEO, in all seriousness, said that costs had to be covered and that it would not break anyone to stick a coin in the door slot to use the facilities.

Many travellers use the discount airlines to save that penny, that dollar, that euro, thinking that they don't need the frills of meals, drinks, snacks, blankets, and pillows. Some may rethink that economy when it comes to having an outlet for a sometimes urgent need. It's not like you can just go to the business next door to use their restroom, or failing that, go stoop behind a tree on the highway (don't tell me you haven't at least considered that at one time or another).

This is the same kind of thinking, with no forethought, that Microsoft was guilty of last week when it asked some of its laid off employees to return some of the severance money the company had apparently overpaid them. Let's see, you go back to the employees you just fired and ask them to reimburse you for the overpayment. Sure, right after the mortgage, the car payment, and the food bill. Microsoft, or some sane person in the board room, came to his senses within days and realized what a public relations faux pas they had made. They rescinded the request for the overpayment and with egg on their face, tried to put the dirty little incident behind them. But people may well remember Microsoft's Scrooge-like behavior for some time to come.

So with Ryanair, I suspect the CEO will reverse himself (say he was just kidding) and decide that the PR hit was not worth the "free advertising" this little scheme provided. I'm sure some future passengers were getting ready for Ryanair's move. Just as they now bring on fast food and drinks these days, we might have seen a few urinals, and yes, even bedpans whipped from the carry-ons when nature called. And we think those seats are cramped now.

Closing Guantanamo - Is That a Good Idea?

During the presidential campaign accusations were flying about the use of torture and other unsavory tactics against the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay prison, at the U.S. Naval Station in Cuba. There were records of complaints of mistreatment there as well as some forms of torture used during "rendition" elsewhere.

President Obama, in keeping with his campaign promise, has announced that he will close the infamous prison within one year. He did not offer, nor is there one forthcoming, about where these prisoners, some of whom are terrorists, will be housed.

Already there has been a flurry of activity to look at each person's case, probably in the hope that some can be sent to their home countries without charges. There is little doubt that even if the population is culled, there will be some prisoners, some pretty bad ones, who would have to be housed in the United States. One wonders which state will offer to "keep the light on for ya" in regard to these gentlefolk. I suppose a bribe might work for some hard pressed state.

While I agree we need to treat all prisoners with humanity and compassion and torture is NOT acceptable, why do we have to close a facility that is built for this type of incarceration? This week, new Attorney General Eric Holder visited the prison and found it to be a "well run and professional facility". He also was a little silly when he went on to say that he didn't see any mistreatment of detainees while he was there. Duh.

But to the bigger point. We need to spiff up our detention policies and not hold those who do not need to be. We need to afford them minimal prisoner rights that do not jeopardize anyone's safety. But once we do that, what is wrong with leaving them at the U.S. at Guantanamo? It meets all the security requirements and with proper oversight will be a model prison.

The critical issue is not the location; it is the treatment of the detainees and whether they are to be given constitutional rights of all U.S. citizens. Give them the rights, hold hearings and trials to present the evidence, and either convict them or not. Top secret information can be given in closed hearings to protect its sensitivity there as well as in the middle of Kansas. All of this, if necessary, does not change by housing the prisoners at our base in Cuba. What does change is that no state and no American citizenry has to worry about their own safety that might be compromised by having a terror suspect living in their midst.

Is there a downside?

Just Who Are These "Taxpayers"?

We hear much lately about the "taxpayer funded" bailouts for GM and Chrysler, Citibank and Wells Fargo, and myriad other financial institutions. The TARP funds, the Recovery Act -- all are funded by these mysterious taxpayers. That is one heck of a lot of money. Trillions, in fact.

I have thumped my chest and pounded my fist with the best of us "taxpayers" in the past few months so very irritated that my hard-earned money was being sent to liars, cheats, and thieves, plus a few good companies as well. I wasn't sure just how much of this huge bill was mine, but today I heard that maybe I wasn't the hero I thought I was. Giving my hard earned bucks turns out to be a pittance compared to the burden paid by those in the upper incomes.

I found out that the top 1% (that's one percent) of taxpayers pay about 40% of the income taxes. The upper 5% of taxpayers cover about 60% of all federal income taxes, and when you get to the upper 10% of those "taxpayers", they pay about 70% of the total income tax (Fortune, April 2008).

In fact, I found out that the bottom 40% of Americans who file tax returns have a negative income tax. With deductions, earned income credit and the like, some actually get back more than they pay in. Can you believe that?

I am not in the top 1, 5 , or even 10%. I am not in the bottom 40 % either, but my contribution to the treasury is certainly puny compared to those in the upper brackets. So while I still might pound my fist at the money pit we seem to have created in the U.S. government, I understand that there are many others who could pound harder and yell louder. No wonder they get irritated when politicians say the rich "aren't paying their fair share". What the hell does that mean?

Stimulus or Chump Change?

Once, when I loaned a friend $500, he said he would repay me $10 a week from his pay check. I thought about it and then replied that I would rather he paid me the $500 in full in a year than get $10 a week that I would fritter away, or worse, hardly notice as part of my own weekly income.

President Obama's stimulus plan includes a $400 tax rebate for single, and $800 for married, that will not come in one check but will come as an average of $13 fewer dollars per week of federal withholding tax deductions. I might have taken the $400 and bought a Blu-ray disk player, or more cat treats, or gotten my car detailed a few times, thus adding to the needed consumer spending. I am afraid that now I will not only barely see a difference in my paychecks that I direct deposit, I may never really notice that I have a little more pocket money.

I understand the reasoning and I might enjoy the extra money, but a lump sum would have been more helpful. It was not quite enough to invest but was enough to buy a simple pleasure that would have had to wait otherwise.

I am about to be blasphemous, but I would rather not even get the $400. There is strength in numbers and with the multiplier effect, all of these paltry rebates aggregate into a lot of money to really make a difference in schools, health care, research and so on. Taken as a whole, the proposed rebate money could have made a big difference instead of little or no difference to each of us taxpayers. The rebate does only go to those who actually pay taxes, doesn't it?

The Greater Good - Is It Great and Is It Good?

The stimulus package and the second half of the TARP has generated no end of discussion of their pros and cons. Of interest to me and others who have managed to cut corners and still pay their mortgage payments despite eroding values, is the idea of rewarding risky and opportunistic behaviors.

The question often is, "Where is my share of the bailout when my property values have decreased, even though I am still making my payments as agreed?" If the bailout et al is going to help those who borrowed far more than they could afford, took "interest only" loans, or signed up for a ridiculously low payment on an ARM (adjustable rate mortgage), then where is the relief for responsible people?. It is clear that some people got greedy, or "bet on the come", or just didn't even think to look a few years into the future when the piper would have to be paid. So today, some of those irresponsible people want the government (read U.S. Taxpayers) to rescue them.

The same could be said of the bank bailout, some of which will surely go to banks that lent money recklessly to less-than-credit-worthy customers on less-than-reliable mortgages. Greed is the word. And foolishness, and of course, just plain stupidity.

So should those of us who have lost a large share of our retirement nest eggs, a good chunk of home values, and who knows what else, now have to bear the additional burden of "saving" those who did not plan, did not think, and maybe did not even care?

The problem, some economists and others will tell you, is that if we don't save the foolish home buyers, the greedy banks, and reckless investors, the economy will get worse and therefore harm us all even more. What a Hobson's choice that is!

For the record, I am in favor of helping those who, through no fault of their own, had their jobs evaporate, or their families suffer illnesses or death of the breadwinner. We must help those people as we always have. It just grinds on many of us to subsidize the excessive risk-takers, the grifters, and the opportunists who now want to amble up to the public trough and beg for "more please".

Yet, I know that we need to hope for a rising tide soon, that will lift all ships, and if this shot in the arm of government money will do the job, then I guess we have to hope for the best. I don't want to see foreclosures erode home values even more or for banks to tighten lending so that even I can't get a car loan without proving I don't need it. I worked hard to build my credit and now guard it as a "sacred trust". I just wish others would do the same, or if they choose not to, to only take themselves down, and not the rest of us with them. I guess that is my American Dream.

Millions Pocketed in Iraq Reconstruction - By Our Own Military Leaders?

We read today that investigations may show that much of the wasted money that was poured into Iraq early in the war was stolen and pocketed. Not by war lords or local thieves but by the very men who were to keep track of the reconstruction efforts. A pair of U.S. Army and Air Force colonels (and maybe more) are being investigated for the theft of millions in U.S. cash.

Of course, the first problem was that some bright mind in our government, in their judicious wisdom, thought it best to send actual dollars, greenbacks, Benjamins, to pay off the contractors as work was done. Apparently a check from the U.S. Treasury would not have been enough. Shrink-wrapped packages of U.S. currency was sent in bulk to Iraq to be stashed in one of Saddam's palace basements, to be doled out as needed.

And doled out it was, apparently delivered to some of our own military leaders in pizza boxes. Talk about free delivery, hot and fresh.

Someone needs to clean up this mess and see that our hard-earned tax dollars are not being wasted, but if these allegations turn out to be true, then some of our U.S. military colonels and others deserve to be treated as the traitors they really are. This is conduct "unbecoming an officer and a gentlemen" to say the least. Gentlemen they are not; war profiteers would be more apt.

Stuck Up Cat?

Let me tell you a little bit about our cat, Toddy, which is short for Mary Todd Lincoln in keeping with my avocation about everything Lincoln. She is now almost 16 years old, about 80 in human years. She is very prim and proper, fastidious about her personal hygiene, and would be mortified if she even dropped some residual Tidy Cat on the carpet after her toilette.

She eats the special geriatric food from the vet with no complaint and up until last month, never deigned to eat the various cat treats we presented to her over the years. For some reason, she began to scarf up the 10-12 morsels we tempted her with from the healthy and high fiber cat treats given to her perennially for Christmas by my brother, Jeff. Amazed as we were at her change of heart we continued to "treat" her (she is SUCH a good cat) daily for the past week or so.

Yesterday, when my wife was doing one of her duties (changing the litter - hey, I do other things), she found no solid deposits.

"I think Toddy is constipated," said my ER nurse spouse. I then captured Toddy and Diana palpated her abdomen but could find no distension or other symptoms. "I think we need to get some sort of laxative for her".

"Do we have to?," I asked. "Can't we wait a day or two and see what comes out?"

"This could be dangerous and she could have an obstruction!" Diana protested.

So, not wanting to be responsible for the death of my beloved Toddy, I headed with Diana to WalMart to find some sort of laxative....for cats.

"I know what...," Diana offered, "she needs a suppository"

I hesitated a moment getting a sight picture of all that might entail. It wasn't good and I knew I would have to be involved. "How would that work?" I asked plaintively.

"It would loosen her up a bit, make it easier for her to go".

Diana went to the pharmacy and eventually found an infant suppository and for good measure picked up an enema kit. I didn't even ask.

Once home, I lured Toddy to my lap and then Diana, rubber gloved and ready, did her nursey thing and inserted the clear liquidy thing where the sun don't shine. Toddy was not amused.

It went OK for about 20 seconds and then I saw a look on her face I didn't know she could make. Wide eyes, lips pulled back, and then as Diana squirted in the last of whatever it was, Toddy, lost her lady-like personality and literally bit the hand that feeds her. Well, not exactly, she bit me as Diana takes care of the feeding too. Three nice puncture wounds on my right hand that left Diana mumbling something about "Augmentin, Augmentin, Augmentin". I discovered it was not a voodoo chant but rather an antibiotic used to treat cat bites that become infected.

Toddy, suppository in hand, or rather in behind, ran to hide in a corner looking something close to feral. I guess it was the ultimate insult for a spinster cat.

"It should work within 15-30 minutes, " Diana claimed.

Going back to our reading or TV show we patiently waited for the spirit to move Toddy and watch her head to the litter box.

Our thoughts of our veterinary prowess were disturbed by a knock on the door. Our realtor who has sold us our Arizona home was standing outside with a couple attempting to peer inside.

"Can I just show these people your floor plan, with the kitchen in the front?" Not wanting to discuss the myriad reasons why not, I said, "Sure, come on in. The house is a little messy right now."

"No problem," said Mary Ann, as she marched in with prospective buyers who all took their shoes off in the entry. She proceeded to show them the living room, then the bedrooms (whew,the bed was made), and then out to the screen porch. I nervously looked for Toddy and found her sitting on the carpet at the far end of the porch still not wanting to get too close to any human.

The man of the couple began to look around the screen porch, when all of a sudden he let out a scream, well, a whimper at least, as he hotfooted in his stockings while looking behind him on the floor.

"Hey, it worked!," I yelled to Diana, as I noticed the very large pile of cat doo doo on the little rug by the door. The man looked at me with the strangest puzzled look (similar to Toddy's earlier) as he lifted his foot to show brown matter on his white sock.

Diana came to the porch, saw the excrement where Toddy had left it (having lamented I am sure that she could not make it to the litter in time). "Oh great, that should do it," Diana said.

The man and his wife were starting to move to the door when we realized we had better say something lucid. "Our cat is 16 years old," Diana started to say. "And she was constipated this morning".

The man smiled (unnatural though it was), and asked it he could have a paper towel. Diana quickly provided one as I thought I should at least add a little more detail.

"We gave her a suppository about 20 minutes ago, didn't know it would work this fast. She is usually perfect about the litter, must have been a little urgent" I said.

"Oh yes, urgent", the man's wife managed.

"I am so sorry,"Diana offered. "Can I wash your sock?"

The man turned down the laundry offer and he and his wife, along with Mary Ann, headed for the door thanking us as they left. I noticed they were watching their every step as they got closer to their shoes. They climbed back into Mary Ann's golf cart and roared off.

"Well, that'll teach 'em for coming unannounced" I said, still a little embarrassed.

"I suppose if they buy a house here in our resort, we'll forever be known as the cat poop people".

Thanks a lot, Jeff.

President Obama Stumbles, But Catches Himself

Our expectations were unrealistically high for the new President, so when we hear of failed cabinet appointments - failing because of issues that should have been caught in the vetting - we being to see a little tarnish on the crown.

Yet, looking back to other great presidents often compared to Mr. Obama, we see that Kennedy and Lincoln made many major mistakes and false starts as well. We remember them mostly for the good things they did, with only a footnote to the errors. Presidents are human and mistakes will be made.

Of course, one man cannot do it all so President Obama's team deserves some "credit" for these missteps. But it is refreshing to see the man himself take the blame. He realizes, after all, that the final decision is always his and therefore he gets to take the credit or the blame as appropriate.

I don't know whether it is off putting or endearing to hear this President say "I screwed up" but for now I'll smile and see him as a normal human being treading on the very thin ice of a new presidency. Unfortunately there are still those who cannot accept that he won the election, fairly and by a wide margin, and who will gleefully rub their hands when he makes a misstep. As Rush Limbaugh once said after Bush took the White House in 2000 in a contested race with Al Gore, "Get over it, Bush won, he is the President". So too I say to those who natter today about Obama's election. Get over it, and come together to make America work.

The Day the Music Died

Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the death of one of the most influential musicians of the rock era. On February 3rd, near Clear Lake, Iowa, the small plane carrying Charles Hardin Holley, ("Buddy" Holly), along with Richie Valenzuela (Ritchie Valens) and J.P Richardson, Jr., (the "Big Bopper"), crashed and cartwheeled in a farm field outside of Clear Lake.

Buddy Holly was only 22 but already had a number of hits, produced in Clovis, New Mexico, by Norman Petty. As Buddy became even more popular he signed a major record contract, appeared on the Ed Sullivan show, and was destined to be a rock legend.

A friend of mine from later years, Dan Miller, who had served in the U.S. Air Force near Clovis, had also worked as a part-time disc jockey for Norman Petty's radio station in the 1960s where he learned all there was to know about Holly, and Petty's other proteges, Buddy Knox (Party Doll), Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs (Bottle of Wine), and even Bobby Vee (Devil or Angel, Rubber Ball).

In the 1970s, Miller decided to take a garage band he was managing (Legend) to record with Norman Petty. I got to tag along with them to New Mexico and in addition to meeting Norman and Vi Petty, got a private tour of the tiny studio where Buddy Holly made his first recordings. We saw the room where the "reverb" for "Peggy Sue" and the great drum accompaniments were recorded.

Holly, in death, went on to become widely imitated by the Beatles (whose name was inspired by Holly's "Crickets"), the Rolling Stones, Linda Ronstadt, and many others. Although Don McLean memorialized this date as "the day the music died", the music may have been enhanced even more by this tragedy. It is true that the musicians died and with them unwritten new songs that may have added even more, but with the abbreviated catalog Holly, Valens, and Richardson left behind, we still benefit from their groundbreaking achievements.

Two years ago my wife and I had occasion to be near Clear Lake, Iowa in our motor home and after visting the Surf Ballroom, site of the last concert, we made the trip to the farm field where the plane came down. Still a field of corn stubble, the land was waiting to produce a new crop of corn just as it had in 1959. We hiked the corn rows about a half mile in from the gravel road to the memorial to the three musicians who died there on that cold night. Simple yet poignant, the crafted monument was festooned with items left by others who had passed by. This was a small shrine to the beginnings of rock and roll, and as such, was moving in itself. One could get a sense of music history cut short here as we pondered the crash that night. The musicians may have died, but the music surely did not. Not Fade Away, Buddy.